I Don’t Like Bugs!

Did I mention that I am not a fan of creepy, crawly things? I am not. Going back to my childhood, my screams would bring my Dad, running at full speed, to save me from…mostly spiders, but also some other unidentifiable creepy things. However, I am a fan of butterflies and lady bugs and, also, fireflies. Go figure.

My Dad has been in Heaven since 1992, so I have had to find other champions. My grown sons, if they are around, have often picked up the gauntlet, but they are rarely here at the appropriate moment. Jerry, my late husband had other virtues, bug killing was not his forte. 

My wonderful Ken, my loving husband and champion, does, when he’s awake, protect me from all things that disrupt my serenity. However, on this one particular occasion, he had gone to bed before me. I was on my way to bed, performing all my pre-bed rituals. I am in my 70’s and there are things that need doing before bedtime. I put out my nighttime prescriptions on the kitchen counter, next to the glass-topped stove. The stove top happens to be black and shiny.  I mention this because many bugs also fit that description. 

On this particular evening, I may have fallen asleep on the sofa during a TV movie. When I woke up, I may not have been as astute as I normally am… I got up and made my way into the kitchen, turned on the overhead light and did a doubletake. On top of the stove was a Cave Cricket aka Camel Cricket which was the size of Cleveland. Now as groggy as I was, I new not to take a heavy metal object to obliterate said critter. And I also knew not to wake Ken, who had a class early the next morning. So, what was I to do? A trap, I needed something to contain the cricket until Ken could get it in the morning. I looked around and saw nothing suitable. Then I looked under the counter on the carousel. There are assorted pots and pans and containers of all description. I finally saw it! My trusty purple plastic bowl…perfect! I took it and gingerly placed it over the heinous creature. But wait, what if Ken got up before I was awake and just picked up the bowl?! Something more was called for…a post-it note, upon which, I cleverly wrote: BUG!

By the time I got into bed, I was vibrating with anxiety over the previous caper.  Ken was immediately awake and asked what was wrong. I related the event, using every detail. When he was done laughing, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

When I got up, he was having his coffee, the dish was in the sink and I looked at him anxiously.

Mission Accomplished, he said.  And life went on… My Hero!